Anyone who has been checking in on my blog may be wondering: Where did I go? I’ve been hiding out, that’s where. A few months ago, I went through a major life change.My boyfriend of about 3½ years and I split up and, to some, that may seem like not that big of a deal. For me though, honestly, the last few months have been some of the hardest months of my adult life so far. I mean, at this stage of life, I was in the space where I thought he was the one and that I was pretty set from this point on. He and I are still friends, but we have some things to work on that were better off on our own. Funny how God usually has other plans – and they’re always for the better, regardless of what you can see in front of your face. Still, knowing there was some sort of plan out there didn’t save me from making poor choices while my heart healed.
Financially, all the hard work I’ve been putting in since the start of 2017 completely vanished. To feel better, I emotionally spent on a lot of things – plane tickets and vacations mostly. At least I had fun while I was at it, am I right? However, most of those plane tickets were bought on credit, and taking as much time off as I did hurt me on the income side too. The embarrassment I felt spending money I already didn’t have and digging my hole deeper kept me away from writing and trying to help people figure their money out. I mean, who am I to tell you how to budget and get out of debt when I keep charging left and right? If I can’t do it, why should anyone even listen to what I say?
So I stepped back. In hindsight, it was the best decision. A lot of work and growth happened, which I’ll write about next, but let’s just say, I’m a whole different person than I was a few months ago. Therefore, I’m now certain I needed to come back to still show people like me it’s possible to live a fulfilled life while absolutely crushing their financial goals.
To begin, let’s just get it out in the open like on Finding Nemo. Hi my name is Ariana, (hello Ariana) and as of August 22nd, 2017, I have a less positive financial situation. I currently have $156,468 in debt with no more emergency fund. The majority is student loans of course, but I also purchased a new-to-me car at $19k, and have about $15k in consumer debts.
Man is honesty hard sometimes. I’m sure my dad is reading this right now and I’m going to get a call about how I shouldn’t be putting all my business out there to the internet. He’s probably right. But, as my journey moves forward, hopefully this number will help take someone else’s shame from them and they can move forward without guilt. If just one person can see me start and stop and start and fall down, pick myself up and dust myself off before starting again, and use that to pick themselves up just one more time, then I’ll happily air out my dirty laundry. So thanks for calling dad, but this post stays.
So now that I have this glaring number in front of my face, the next question is what do I do about it. Well I created a plan, which you can read here. But also, I’m going to keep myself more accountable to you guys. Every month, I’ll be doing a check-in. What I paid that month, if I’ve added anything at all (which should not be happening), and where my progress lies. I will no longer hide behind the guilt of a number, I’m going to attack it, head on, with strength and courage in the ups and the downs. However, I’m going to have fun while I’m at it. I may end up eating ramen on a regular basis (which is fine, I love ramen), but the things that matter to me, like time with friends and travel, are not going anywhere. You can bet your bottom dollar that I’m going to live the now to the fullest, while smashing this debt like the Incredible Hulk.
Shame and guilt are what keep people hiding, and feeling like it’s just them. It’s not just you. It’s at the very least me too, so let’s be partners on this journey. If you’re in a rough patch, let me know! I’ll listen, judgement free. I may or may not have a solution, but either way, you’ll know YOU CAN DO THIS. You ARE destined for financial freedom.
So welcome back to the journey. It’s a long road, but I’m excited to see us reach the other side.
Starting over isn’t easy, but sharing where you are and where you want to be headed is a good start. All the best to you as you pick up the pieces and find your new way. You’ve got this.
Hi Ariana, nice to meet you! I see a lot of myself and my girlfriends in your story…though we are probably about a decade and a half out from you. I’m on the other side of the debt payoff journey now…took me 12 years to tackle a debt load of about $60k. It could have been a lot shorter, but I tried to live a balanced life along the way…a lot of travel, food and drinks with friends. I don’t regret it one bit. Especially now that everyone is hitched and starting families, I look back on those times and feel grateful that we were able to make memories to last a lifetime. I wish you luck in your journey and look forward to watching you kick ass! Keep on keeping on, sister!
ThreeB, sorry to read about your breakup. I went through a similar situation and went on a multi-year spending binge carrying a $5-6K credit card balance for 4ish years. However, I fought through it by saving money for retirement and slowly paying off debt (CC and my car). People are interested in your journey for better or worse. I hope you keep writing and I can read about an improved financial situation in the near future.
Godspeed
-Max ?:^)
My favorite expression is that when you get stuck in the day to day, you miss the forest for the trees. Day after day seems so monumental. Progress seems impossible, there’s too many steps.
I think getting older is looking back over the forest that you’ve built and traversed. Is it a thick, strong forest that you’re proud of and makes you happy? Or is it just a bunch of rotten trees that got in your way?
I look forward to reading about your journey ahead, and welcome back!
I know this post is a little old but man you sound like a very courageous and hard working woman! I really hope that you recover financially from this break up and begin to charge forward faster than ever! God works in mysterious ways…..maybe not having someone to devote so much time to will be a blessing in disguise. All this new free time you can be doing so much!!!!! Maybe putting effort into your endeavors, work or even picking up a free hobby maybe something that you can always do to relieve stress or do in replacement of a crazy night out or whatnot. You have not posted in a while so I am not sure what is going on but I wish you the best and I hope that your heart has healed or is healing and I wish you well! Great post! Very eager for more 😀
thank you so much for your kind words! I have taken on (a few too many) new endeavors these days but it’s been such a blessing in disguise =) I’ll be posting more and more these days (finally lol) thanks for reading!!
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